Home design trends come and go.
Minimalism.
Industrial.
Farmhouse chic.
But none of them have dared to explore the bold frontier of bacon architecture.
Until now.
Introducing the bacon door handle, the only home feature that greets visitors with the comforting aroma of breakfast.
Step 1: Build the Bacon Grip
Start with a normal metal door handle.
Now wrap it in layer after layer of bacon strips until the handle becomes a beautiful spiral of pork.
Bake it lightly so the bacon holds its shape.
The result is a handle that looks luxurious, smells incredible, and immediately raises several health code questions.
Step 2: Install With Confidence
Once the bacon handle is ready, mount it proudly on your front door.
Visitors approaching your home will notice two things immediately:
- The irresistible smell of bacon
- The strange urge to lick your entryway
This is how you know the design is working.
Step 3: The Guest Experience
When guests arrive, they must grip the bacon handle to enter.
This creates a memorable first impression.
Possible reactions include:
- “Is this… bacon?”
- “Why is the door warm?”
- “I think I just ate part of your house.”
All perfectly normal responses.
Step 4: Maintenance
Traditional door handles require almost no upkeep.
Bacon door handles require:
- Daily replacement
- Occasional dog removal
- The acceptance that raccoons now know where you live
Homeownership is about responsibility.
Final Thoughts
A bacon door handle may not increase your home’s resale value.
But it will absolutely increase your home’s breakfast potential.
And if someone ever complains about your decorating choices, just remember:
They still had to grab the bacon to get inside.
Which means you already won.