Morning routines are important.
You wake up.
You shower.
You prepare for the day.
But what if your shower introduced an unexpected element:
Bacon?
Step 1: Assemble the Curtain
Start by layering crispy bacon strips vertically, slightly overlapping to form a flexible sheet.
Attach the bacon sheet to standard shower curtain rings.
Ensure full coverage, because privacy is still important—even in questionable design choices.
You now have what interior designers might call:
“A bold breakfast barrier.”
Step 2: Turn On the Water
As the shower heats up, steam fills the bathroom.
Then something magical—and slightly concerning—happens:
The aroma of bacon intensifies.
Your bathroom now smells like a high-end brunch spot.
This may improve your mood dramatically.
Step 3: Unexpected Effects
A bacon shower curtain introduces several new experiences:
Steam may soften the bacon
Droplets may create a light “grease mist”
Your morning shower may turn into a hunger event
You may also find yourself questioning your life choices.
This is part of the process.
Step 4: Maintenance
Traditional shower curtains are easy to clean.
A bacon shower curtain requires:
Frequent replacement
Emotional acceptance
Possibly a fan
On the bright side, cleanup is technically edible.
Bonus Feature: Post-Shower Snack
Finished your shower?
Breakfast is already waiting.
Simply remove a strip and enjoy.
This is the only bathroom fixture that doubles as a meal.
Final Thoughts
Is a bacon shower curtain practical?
No.
Is it hygienic?
Also no.
But it transforms an ordinary morning into something unforgettable.
Because nothing says “fresh start” quite like…
hot water and bacon. 🥓