We made candles from bacon grease.

This was not a cry for help.
This was science.

Or at least what happens when you cook a pound of bacon, look at the shimmering pan of leftover grease, and whisper: “You still have potential.”

Welcome to the smoky intersection of ambiance and breakfast.

---

The Origin Story (Aromatic, Questionable)

It began the way most questionable decisions do — with optimism.

Step 1: Save bacon grease.
Step 2: Pour it into a jar.
Step 3: Insert wick.
Step 4: Convince yourself this is “rustic.”

What we created was not just a candle.

It was a statement.

A statement that said:
“I value mood lighting… but I also might fry eggs at any moment.”

---

The Scent Profile

Let’s address the elephant in the room.

Yes, it smells like bacon.

Not “subtle farmhouse breakfast.”
Not “whisper of maple-kissed pork essence.”

It smells like someone is actively cooking bacon. In your living room. At 8 PM.

Stage 1: Cozy

Warm glow. Gentle sizzle aroma. Comfort.
You feel hugged by a breakfast diner.

Stage 2: Confusion

Guests look toward the kitchen.
“Are we eating?” they ask.

Stage 3: Existential Hunger

You are now starving.
There is no bacon. Only flame.

---

Lighting It: Romantic or Reckless?

Imagine this:

You dim the lights.
You light the bacon candle.
You say, “I wanted something special tonight.”

Your partner inhales deeply.

There are two possible outcomes:

Outcome A:
They laugh. You both order takeout.

Outcome B:
They begin searching your house for actual bacon.

Romance rating: 6/10
Breakfast anticipation: 11/10

---

The Unexpected Side Effects

• Your dog becomes deeply spiritual and will not leave the candle’s presence.

• Neighbors may “casually drop by.”

• You develop an urge to toast bread.

Also:
The flame sometimes crackles.

Which is charming until you remember the fuel source is liquefied breakfast.

---

Safety Considerations (Probably Important)

Is bacon grease flammable?

Yes.

Should you leave it unattended?

No.

Should you explain to your insurance provider that the fire was “artisanal”?

Also no.

If you try this at home, do it responsibly. Use proper containers. Use a real wick. Do not free-pour grease into a mug labeled “World’s Best Boss.”

We are innovators, not chaos goblins.

---

The Dinner Dilemma

Here’s the real problem:

When does a bacon candle stop being décor and start being food?

You technically could:

• Blow it out

• Melt it down

• Strain it

• Fry something

But should you?

This is the culinary version of eating decorative soap because it’s shaped like cake.

You crossed a line when you inserted a wick.

---

The Verdict

Pros:

• Unique conversation starter

• Smells aggressively comforting

• Makes you feel resourceful

Cons:

• Makes everyone hungry

• Slightly alarming

• Attracts pets like a magnet

Would we make one again?

Absolutely.

Would we rely on it for dinner?

Only in emotionally complex situations.

---

Final Thoughts

A bacon candle is more than melted grease and string.

It is hope.

It is breakfast reborn as ambiance.

It is proof that no byproduct goes unloved.

So the real question isn’t “Lighting or dinner?”

It’s this:

How hungry are you willing to be for aesthetic excellence?

Light wisely.
Snack responsibly.
And remember — if it smells like bacon, someone will expect bacon.