Toward a Grease-Backed Monetary System

For centuries, humanity has relied on gold, silver, paper notes, and digital numbers that exist mostly as vibes.

But what if we returned to something more stable?

Something tangible.
Something crispy.

What if bacon… was money?

Welcome to the first serious (extremely serious) economic evaluation of the Bacon Standard.

---

I. Historical Precedent: Meat as Money

Before fiat currency, societies traded goods directly:

• Grain

• Livestock

• Salt

And what is bacon if not the luxury derivative of livestock?

Unlike paper currency, bacon has:

• Intrinsic value

• Immediate utility

• Emotional stability (until eaten)

This makes it a strong candidate for a post-fiat breakfast economy.

---

II. Core Economic Properties of Bacon

For a commodity to function as currency, it must be:

1. Portable

Bacon: ✔
Fits in pocket. Might leave evidence.

2. Divisible

One strip can be broken into smaller crispy units.
Microtransactions achieved.

3. Recognizable

You cannot counterfeit bacon easily.
(If someone tries, you will know.)

4. Limited Supply

Pigs are finite.
This introduces scarcity, which economists adore.

---

III. Inflation Under the Bacon Standard

Let’s imagine a world where the global reserve asset is bacon.

When bacon production increases significantly, what happens?

Bacon Inflation.

Suddenly:

• A latte costs 3 strips.

• Rent costs 2,000 strips.

• Your salary is negotiated in thick-cut units.

To combat inflation, central banks would need to:

• Control pig populations.

• Adjust frying interest rates.

• Implement Strategic Bacon Reserves.

This is fiscal responsibility with a side of brunch.

---

IV. Volatility & Market Risk

Bacon prices fluctuate based on:

• Feed costs

• Weather

• Brunch demand

Unlike digital currency, bacon cannot crash to zero.

Worst-case scenario?

You eat your portfolio.

Name another asset class that delicious.

---

V. The Grease-Backed Banking System

Under the Bacon Standard, banks would operate as follows:

• Deposits stored in climate-controlled vaults

• Interest paid in “compound crispness”

• ATMs dispense vacuum-sealed strips

Credit cards replaced with:

Bacon-backed debit slices.

Defaulting on a loan means surrendering your freezer.

---

VI. International Trade

Countries rich in pork become economic superpowers.

Exports include:

• Smoked reserves

• Maple derivatives

• Premium artisanal cuts

Oil-producing nations would need to diversify into breakfast futures.

The new global question becomes:

“How many strips per barrel?”

---

VII. Black Market Implications

Inevitably, underground bacon exchanges emerge.

Illicit transactions conducted in:

• Pepper-crusted strips

• Rare heritage breeds

• Limited edition seasonal cures

This creates a shadow grease economy.

Regulators struggle.

Dogs flourish.

---

VIII. Long-Term Sustainability

Critics argue bacon cannot scale globally as currency.

But consider:

• It encourages responsible spending (you feel every transaction).

• Hoarding becomes risky (shelf life matters).

• Wealth redistribution happens naturally (hungry people exist).

This is built-in economic correction.

---

IX. The Psychological Advantage

Money today is abstract.

Bacon is not.

When you hand someone a strip, you understand value immediately.

It smells like effort.
It looks like reward.
It tastes like victory.

Consumer confidence skyrockets.

Literally. It smells amazing.

---

X. Final Verdict

Is bacon a perfect currency?

No.

Is it more emotionally satisfying than staring at a banking app?

Absolutely.

Under the Bacon Standard:

• Inflation smells better

• Savings taste better

• Economic collapse becomes a catered event

In conclusion:

Gold is shiny.
Crypto is volatile.
Paper is fragile.

But bacon?

Bacon is forever.

Or at least until lunch.